On Teaching

I like the time I spend with my students. There's an equal transfer of knowledge from the teacher to the learner. Like my students, I am a learner in my own classroom. The stories they bring, the laughter, the tears....I feel so honored and humbled to stand before them. I think sometimes people do not actually understand how to take themselves. A friend told me recently that she felt sometimes overwhelmed by herself. Is this what I feel....overwhelmed? I sit restless in a world that is so active, yet so still. I want to do so much, yet I feel so fixed, unable to move. Those students who stare at me all doe-eyed -- what do they want? Do they want me to prove to them that all this "English" will benefit them some way. I teach them how to sound professional or how to communicate professionally. I tell them to leave their language hidden somewhere -- don't show this part of you. Don't show the part of you that counts...how hard you work each day to live. How you laugh. How you eat. How you dress. How you pray. How you speak. What's left? I'm sorry to you who I tell to change. We must wear these masks to prove ourselves. But don't forget who you are or where you came from. I haven't.

William Shatner is my Hero!

You know how some things just seem too good to be true? Well, priceline.com is one of those things that seems full of you-know-what, but has proven to be a pretty good deal to me. Since June 3 I have been traveling at a great price because of priceline! From Hilton Head (twice - 3 star) to Atlanta (4 star), and then to Savannah (3 1/2 star), my kids and I have been trying out hotel bids we win through priceline. Y'all know during peak season, a decent (no scratchy, floral coverlets) hotel room can cost more than a hundred bucks. When you name your own price on priceline, you don't know where you will stay, but you do know the demographics and the star rating. Go low, but be realistic (you ain't gettin' the Bohemian in Savannah for 5o bucks). Priceline will let you know when the dollars need to go up. Y'all take advantage of this because it is a phenomenal way to get a good deal at a hotel you normally wouldn't frequent. Just beware of high parking fees or wifi fees at the swankier hotels. You should get free parking and wifi at the Holiday Inns and Hamptons, but the Hiltons and Westins are gonna cost you. Just be sure you check up on the hotel before you hit BID. One more thing - if you win a bid, be sure to call the hotel and request the bed. I have had no problem asking for doubles or a king. Once I was put in a handicap room, but it was ok -- my kids thought the low toilets, sinks, and peepholes were for midgets.

:-] (no offense to you short folks)

Happy Travels!

Return from Reality?

I haven't blogged in months! Doctorate research, writing students, high school students, tutoring...oh, and wife and mother! I feel like venting, but to what use....

My children and I just returned from an inn a little over 100 miles from our home. The place is as simplistic as you can get -- just plain simple goodness. The air, the sheets, the rain all seemed surreal to me. As I drove home today, I thought to myself, "well now I return to reality." But, as I type these words at 2:00 in the morning I am thinking, "is this my reality?" What do we work ourselves for? Someone close to me told me to not put so much time and effort into my work because no one else does [in my field of work]. He is probably right, but I can't do any less.

Here, in this world there is some goodness -- some place simple and good.

Here's a link to some good stuff:

alicewalkersgarden.com/blog/

Mom Has the Day Off

It's 9:40 a.m. I'm sitting on the sofa in my robe. Underneath the robe is my comfy black tunic shirt and, well, I think clean drawers. No kids, no husband. Now, all I need to do is get rid of the 5 pets. It is well known that teachers look forward to a day off, furloughed or not. Yes, we might gripe about losing pay, but we don't gripe about not having to work! I am home alone! Woohoo! My hair is disheveled, lop-sided ponytail. My feet are stuffed into my new plush Isotoners. I can sit in the usually-full-of-kids living room. I am in front of the T.V., switching from HGTV and A&E. I like to think of myself as unique, but I am probably no different than most moms who find themselves alone in the home. I can use the bathroom peacefully; well, except for the that curious cat wonders in. I'm so looking forward to this day! Sit comfortably in front of the fire, underneath my new electric throw, sipping green tea. So, I raise my cup of Joe or tea to all moms or dads (don't want you men to feel left out) who have the day off! Enjoy, cause you know it ain't gonna last long!

On Belonging

Belonging is important. We can say we can survive on our own. But loneliness isn't part of the human condition. As I sat tonight surrounded by some of the coolest women I have ever known, I felt something. Belonging. There is the matriarch, not because she is the oldest but because she is the toughest. Street smart. The ones surrounding her, educated and wise from experience. And me. Educated and street smart. Street smart and educated.

As we sat, shared stories, bitched, moaned......we laughed. We laughed hard. We howled at the stories of life. We griped about the injustices of the world. We listened to Little Johnny jokes and filled our flat tummies with decadent foods.

Tonight felt good.

Tomorrow, I am going to post some flash creative nonfiction. That is, if I am not up to my ears in doctoral work!

Plath May Be Hazardous to One's Health

I haven't posted in quite a while now. I suppose I have been too "tied" up, tired, or just didn't care to post. Who knows? I took a break from doctoral work, returned to my writing class, and have been reading Plath. As of late, life floats around me. I feel as if I am not participating, but merely existing. Maybe it's the Plath. I'm not sure. Have you ever felt as if you are trapped in some sort of matrix, that someone else, some unknown entity is controlling your life? I see the children...yes, they are mine, I see the husband...yes, he is the one who shared his last name with me. The days race past me so quickly. Each morning I rise and my mechanical body labors throughout the house, dressing, applying makeup, preparing breakfasts, and packing lunches. Breaking away from this routine sounds nice, but change only causes complication. Christmas is fast approaching. For now I can use the excuse, "No, you can't have that today.....Christmas will be here soon.

Mankind is So Unkind

I have been depressed lately. Mankind is so unkind.

I have been filling in, helping out with the children, during Sunday morning Sunday school for the past couple of weeks. Just listening to the children, how their minds are free of clutter, free from the spoils of hatred, causes my heart to ache. The children dutifully answer their teacher and explain how man was made in the image of God. I wonder what God thinks of us now? I don't consider myself very religious, meaning I don't offer to say the prayer during social functions or say "Bless his heart" when I hear of some poor unfortunate soul. But I am spiritual; I ask for forgiveness and for the healing of those poor unfortunate souls. I want so very badly to be good. To just be good and I want my children to just be good. I don't want them to fight with each other. I refuse to believe the fighting is "just normal, all siblings call each other horrible names."

Each morning on the news murder is broadcast. On my lunch break at work I watch my favorite television program, "The First 48," a documentary-like show chronicling the steps detectives take to solve real crimes within the first 48 hours of the crime being committed. Each day I see America's youth being hateful to each other without any remorse. These young people seem devoid of any feeling, any compassion.

Sometimes I can not imagine the future. How can the we go any further than we are? We seem in a race to do more. Each day I repeat the day before, when all I want to do is to stop and really feel myself. I want to breathe the sweet air and love this life God has given me. I want to read classic literature and sip fresh-pressed peach tea. Then have a snack of caramelized foccacia bread. But, that is another blog.